Every five-year-old dreams of visiting Mickey’s house. But
what happens when mom and dad get a yearning to escape reality? The destination
doesn’t have to differ.
Walt Disney World may just be the happiest place on earth
for kids of all ages; even those who don’t really expect to act childish. The
collection of famous theme parks and resorts that put Orlando, Florida on the
map (and every child’s wish list) specializes in removing its visitors, young
and old, from the trappings of everyday life. This means deftly balancing equal
parts kiddie rides and a full-on indulgence for adults.
If you step back from the princesses and space rangers, a
different Disney comes into focus. This is the Disney that understands
twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grew up hooked on classic Disney flicks
and hold a special place in their nostalgia bank for Simba, Belle and Buzz.
So being the genius corporation that it is, Disney devised a
way to make it all right for adults to visit their theme park (simultaneously
creating short-term and life-long customers). All they had to do was weave in
some adults-only attractions, sprinkle on some magic pixie dust and poof - big
kids come pouring in.
It may not be apparent at first, but Disney World truly is a
destination for anyone without children. Foodies can take advantage of some
top-notch eating. Relaxation-seekers can indulge in some serious pampering at
various spas. For those looking for thrills, Disney has created some
surprisingly exciting rides.
If you visit at the right time (I’d suggest May or
September, before school ends or after it begins and not during the school
vacation or summer swamp-sweat season) and you use your time wisely (take
advantage of early park openings, late park closings and snatch up Fast Pass
line cutting stubs like they’re being auctioned on eBay) you will avoid lines
and frustration.
But the real treats are the ones that aren’t on the
billboards and brochures. They’re known, of course, everything here is.
However, you won’t see every family of five skipping off to partake. Golf, for
example, is one way to escape the castles and pirate ships, unless of course
you’re mini-golfing.
But if I’m giving the Mouse my money, here are my five
favorite big kid experiences at Walt Disney World.
- EPCOT
around the world
How can you grab a margarita in Mexico, sake in Japan, wine
in Italy and a frozen cocktail in France all in one night? Walk briskly. EPCOT
was built as the community of tomorrow, but while we’re all waiting for the
future why not have a drink?
The trick is to start early. This day can go long and get
rough, especially if the swamp weather arrives. You’ll know it has if the small
of your back starts sweating.
Pick a country, say France since it is easily accessible and
right over the bridge from the back entrance. Locate its alcohol dispensary,
typically a cart, kiosk, bar or pub, and begin the journey.
France has an orange creamsicle flavored frozen drink that
is both refreshing and buzz inducing. It also sells wine from street carts.
Stroll your way around to other countries like Italy, which
has a wine bar that specializes in the delicious, highbrow Banfi wine
collection. Japan recently opened a new sake bar and almost every adult in
Mexico is carrying an oversized frozen margarita. The German beer garden is a
rollicking, raucous good time, complete with oompa brass band, long tables and
hefty steins of lip-smacking German beer.
Many of these days end in the UK, at the pub. Amongst tired
dads who just “ran to the bathroom,” you’ll be clinking your glasses, singing
folksongs and prepping to tackle another day in the happiest place on earth.
- Rides
after dark
If you aren’t lined up on Main Street or around the EPCOT
lake just before dark, consider yourself luckier than Aladdin when he found the
Genie’s lamp. Why? Because Disney parades are the best thing to happen to
adults at Disney World since they started selling alcohol in souvenir cups. No,
not because of the twinkling lights and dancing movie characters, but because
of the vacuum-like effect the parades have on ride lines.
Of course, this is not a fool-proof tip, but it proves true
in many instances and is worth a shot regardless of what time of year you’re
visiting. When the parades rev up in a Disney park, head for the big kid rides.
And if the sun has gone down already, well all the better.
You haven’t seen Disney until you’ve seen it at twilight from the top of the
Twilight Zone Tower of Terror; or teetering at the pinnacle of Splash Mountain
about to plunge into darkness; or screaming around corners of Thunder Mountain
while shadows creep over the track. When the masses get distracted and the sun
goes down, Disney takes on an even more surreal atmosphere than normal, if
that’s possible. Even Space Mountain, which is always inside in the dark, gets
eerier at night. And don’t worry, nobody will judge you, that’s what the rides
are there for. Unless you’re wearing Mickey ears – in that case, give them to a
kid watching the Tinkerbell parade and head for a rollercoaster.
- California
Grill & Fireworks
Dining can be hit or miss in Disney World, with generally
more hits than misses. I follow a general rule: eat at hotel restaurants over
parks, unless absolutely necessary. EPCOT countries aren’t bad, but even there
you must choose wisely. Germany and Mexico offer tasty, authentic fare, but
China isn’t so lucky.
But perhaps the best dining experience in Disney World is
one geared toward mom and dad, not Junior.
After a long day at the Magic Kingdom, take a short walk
next door to the Contemporary Resort. Perched atop is the California Grill, a
contemporary (obviously) restaurant serving modern takes on west coast dishes,
inspired by wine country and everything else that region has to offer. From
sushi to steaks, California Grill is a high quality meal in a fantasy setting,
with panoramic views all around of Magic Kingdom and the sprawling Disney
property. It’s like eating your way through the ride Soarin’.
The real treat, though, comes with a little planning. Time
your reservation (and definitely make a reservation) with the Magic Kingdom
fireworks. Whether from your table or from California Grill’s outside roof
walk, the nightly extravaganza of colors will seem to be exploding just for
you.
- Stroll
along the Boardwalk
Disney’s Boardwalk Resort was designed to resemble the beach
boardwalks of old, complete with all the entertaining possibilities. At night,
a stroll by the rail may not evoke sea breeze or salty ocean air, but the
carnival games with prize hawkers stir up some nostalgia. Food vendors pump
tantalizing aromas along the boards and the lighthouse across the lagoon at the
Yacht & Beach Club boat dock gives a New England flavor.
Lined with restaurants and shops, it is the perfect place to
end an evening in a way that is very rare in Disney World – free. It doesn’t
cost anything to stroll up and down the Boardwalk. Downtown Disney offers the
same benefits, but the noise and bustle from unending shopping can make that
just as exhausting as running around Magic Kingdom.
Boardwalk is a quieter, albeit less active, alternative. But
not at all less exciting. Head into Jellyrolls, the dueling piano bar, and
you’ll understand why. Two expert musicians battle it out onstage with crowd
suggestions while you sit back and sip a well-deserver beer.
- Say Aloha
The Polynesian is world-class by day, but shake your hips on
over for an evening of fun and fantastic food. Bring your large group to the
authentic luau or just up to the Ohana, the large restaurant that serves food
family-style, freshly grilled on skewers just steps away on the massive
open-flames.
The food itself is incredible, and how can you not enjoy
yourself chowing down at a huge table and laughing with the personable wait
staff. Pork tenderloin, steak tenderloin, shrimp skewers, noodles – everything
is delicious and perfectly cooked.
But to wash it all down, just go with the Mai Thai. The
drinks are served in cups the size of bowling balls, requiring two hands to
hold and a steady footing to endure. A lot of alcohol gets packed into these
behemoth beverages, but the tangy-sweet taste transports you from mimicked
Hawaii to real Polynesia. Even if you aren’t wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you’ll
feel like you are; even if you don’t know how to hula, you’ll try to.
All good Disney World experiences remove you from reality,
especially the big kid ones. After all, that’s why us adults love visiting just
as much as the tykes, even if we won’t admit it. Work doesn’t reach you here,
neither does the headline news. The real world can wait because in the happiest
place on earth, you’re always just a kid at heart.
